


We keep this love in a photograph, we made these memories for ourselves

by bOri



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M, One Shot Collection, a bunch of one shot, but i should stop, but the other band members will appear, but yeah, bye, it will be updated weekly, it's larry centric, mostly i will update weekly, or i'm gonna try it, so i stop, this additional tag thing is fun
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-05
Updated: 2015-01-05
Packaged: 2018-03-05 12:37:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3120419
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bOri/pseuds/bOri
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Oookay. So I don't know where should I begin. So, I'm going to explain it. One day, in the past, I asked my sister to tell me random words. And she did. I wrote down a couple of words from that, so each chapter will have a title. Oh, yeah, and this is a one shot collection, btw. It is Larry centric, cause I'm Larry af, and I try to update this little thing weekly. I don't know if I will succeed, but I'm going to try my best. So yeah. Larry, Larry, Larry. </p><p>And credit goes to Ed Sheeran for the title. I really love this guy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	We keep this love in a photograph, we made these memories for ourselves

**Author's Note:**

> Unfortunately, my native language isn't english, and I don't know anyone who's first language is english, and could check out my work, but I collected all my knowledge, and tried my best. So please be nice, and forgive me.
> 
> Please, check out my[tumblr](http://cant-contain-this-anymore.tumblr.com/). Thank you <3

 

 

> " _Insomnia_ _, or sleeplessness, is a sleep disorder in which there is an inability to fall asleep or to stay asleep as long as desired_.”

Tic-tac, tic-tac, tic-tac. It’s two in the morning and Louis just can’t fall asleep. But believe me, he’d really want to. If he could sleep for a couple of hours, he could make his situation easier, because he could escape from reality.

 

He could mute the doubtful voices in his mind. He feels like his brain can explode in any moment, because of the lot of ’what if…’ thoughts in his head. Beside the fact, that he is laying in his hotel’s bed, and cried his heart out, and staring up at the ceiling, he can’t do anything more. Although, he knows that the self pity can’t help on anything, in fact, it can make anything worse, even if he didn't think it’s possible. He bought a ticket into the deepest sadness, and he couldn't come back, even if he wants to, because he’s way too much into it.

 

Louis doesn’t understand. He can’t wrap his mind around that fact, that why it has to be like this. Why he has to hide this, to treat this thing like it’s a dirty little secret while this is the thing what makes him happy, and if he’ll live until he is 100 years old, nothing can make him happier, expect this. He had never thought that one day, someone would come into his life, and this someone will be that important that he cry over him, even he is 21. And if you consider the fact, that Louis didn’t cry since he was 10, than you’ll know it’s something big. But, he can’t help himself.

 

Louis knows where Harry is, and he knows who Harry is with and he knows the reason too, but the thought that Harry could hold someone else’s hand, and kiss someone else’s lips, even he could whisper sweet nothings in someone else’s ear in this very moment, it makes him bitter and sad.

 

Louis isn’t stupid. He knows that Harry isn’t cheating on him. He knows that this thing is happening, because they have to keep the band’s image clean, that they have to keep their fans, that they have to be successful. But that doesn't mean that he is happy with this situation.

 

If he wants to be honest, he hates it.

 

Because he can bear with the fact, that he has a ’girlfriend’. He can accept that he has some days in his life, when he has to spend time with that girl, who doesn’t really matter to him. There’s nothing wrong with that girl, she’s nice, she really is, but Louis doesn't care about her in any ways. The truth is, that since he met with Harry, Louis doesn’t care about anyone in any ways anymore.

 

Back in the old times, at the X Factor house, in a video diary, they were joking about, that Louis is the leader of the band. And even though he isn't in the spotlight, and he does not appear on magazines’ covers that much, he does anything he can, to protect the band. Because this band stuff isn't just a job for him, his band members isn't just colleagues for him. Louis loves them. And when Louis loves somebody, he would do anything for them.

 

And that’s why he is the one who has a girlfriend. That’s why he is in a longterm relationship. He did this, so Harry wouldn't have to. Harry is the youngest member in the band, and Louis would do anything to protect Harry from the hatred and the dirtiness.

 

But Louis isn’t the Almighty.

 

And what the most irritating and the most irrational part of this situation is, that he is _jealous_. He is terribly jealous. He knows that Harry loves him, that Harry wants him, but the thing is, that knowing something doesn’t help. It _doesn’t_ help to ease the pain, it _doesn’t_ help him fall asleep, it _doesn’t_ help him focus on to something else. It’s nerve-racking.

 

It’s nerve-racking to know, that finally they could have had a day for just themself, they could have spend the entire day alone, not caring about anything or anyone else for that matter. Okay, soon they’re on a holiday break, but for the first time in Louis’ life, he isn’t looking forward to. They discussed, that they will spend some time together on 26 December, but both of them have some work to do, and both of them have family and friends, and they didn’t see them for ages, and that is a miracle, that really is, that they could manage to spend that day together. And now, they will have to spend the New Years Eve separate, because the managment had the idea, that Harry has to spend that night with his ’love’. So, that means that Louis will spend the New Years Eve alone, in England.

 

Of course he won’t be alone, because he has childhood friends, and he can go with them. Or if he will want something extra, he could go to London, and spend the night there, but it doesn't matter how many people will surround him, if he won’t have his special one by his side, he will feel lonely. Cheesy as it sounds, but this is the truth. Louis’ seriously considering the idea, that he will sleep through New Years Eve, and he won’t give a single fuck about it.

 

But thanks for tonight, he knows exactly well, that he won’t sleep for a single minute. And maybe some alcohol will help him. It remains to be seen. Louis doesn't want to think that forward, because he can’t help on his current situation either.

 

He is laying here, in a foreign country foreign hotel’s bed, and he has a lot to do tomorrow, and he just can’t _fucking_ sleep, he just can’t _fucking_ help himself, and he knows _fucking_ well, that this stupid mantra isn't going to help him. But still.

 

Louis barely accepted that Harry had to go out today, and he really wants Harry to come back to him, to change his clothes to something more comfortable, to let Louis hug him, to let Louis kiss him untill Harry forgets that someone else kiss' taste, until Harry forgets his own name. To let Louis to dug his fingers into his curls, to let Louis to buries his head into Harry’s hair, and smell him. No one has that scent what Harry has. And this scent isn’t coming from different shower gels, or shampoos, or expensive parfumes, Harry just simply has a scent, what Louis can't describe other than ’The Harry Scent’. Louis misses this scent.

 

Louis misses Harry’s body warm too. When Harry is in his arms, it doesn’t matter where in the world they are, it doesn't matter which time zone they are in, Louis feels like home. He would have never thought that one person can mean his home. He has always thought about home like a physical place, and not a feeling. He thought that home means where he lives, where he sleeps, where he eats. But, after he met Harry, the whole home word changed its meaning for him. It really doesn’t matter if they’re laying on a king sized bed in a luxury hotel, or they’re in the tour bus’ bunk. When Harry is in Louis’ arms, he feels like he is at home.

 

And the strangest thing in this situation, isn’t that one person can mean so much to Louis, but that person is in the same sex as him. Don’t get me wrong, Louis has never had a problem with gay people. He never thought that if someone attracted to the same sex, then that meant there’s some problem with that person. Even though it’s different, it doesn’t make a difference. What a boring place the world would be, if everyone would be the same.

 

The thing is, that Louis never thought about himself as a gay person. When he auditioned to the X Factor, he was in a relationship with a girl. And he liked Hannah. And if someone asked him then, there was a chance that he would said yes, he loves her. But everything has changed when he met Harry.  
For a while, he didn’t pay attention to his feelings, because he thought that there was nothing more, than he found a good friend in Harry, but the time had come, when he just couldn’t not ignored that how much the curly haired boy meant to him. And the most beautiful thing was – beside that Harry had and has the same feelings – that no one made a big deal of it. Neither Louis. Everyone accepted it, everyone supported them, and eveyone were happy about it. The problem began when they started to get really famous, and people started to noticing that something was going on between them. Than the managment stepped in and has shut everything down. After all, they couldn’t afford a fail in their career. And if everyone got to know that Harry and Louis are truly together, it would have happened.

 

Louis hates that he has to hide who he is. In his darkest moments, Louis does think about that the success and the money worth the the stress in their relationship. Though he isn't complaining, because he and Harry has solved every problem so far, and he knows that they will.

 

Nevertheless, he really wants Harry to come home.

 

And like a magic spell, the hotel’s bedroom door opens, and Louis can see a beautiful face with curly hair. Though, he isn't sure at this point if he’s awake or asleep, but he sits up on the bed, and looks at Harry.

 

Harry seems tired and relieved. When he sees that Louis is awake, a little smile appears on his face, he comes in, and closes the door quietly.

 

"You should sleep” he whispers. His sentence could be a scold, but Harry’s voice is rather happy than anything, when he finds his love awake.

"You should too” Louis answers.

 

Harry stands in front of the bed, and hugs Louis tightly. The older boy sighs in relief, and desperately holds onto Harry’s shirt. He could tell Harry why he couldn't sleep. He could tell him how much he hates the fact that they couldn’t spent today together. He could admit that he cried a little in his frustration. He could tell Harry how much he missed him. But it’s unnecessary. Because of the way Harry holds Louis, it’s clear that he knows, and it’s clear too, that Harry feels the same.

 

After the long, but not long enough – because it’s _never enough_ – hug, Harry strips down his clothes, and climbs next to Louis. Louis sighs in pleasure, and pulls Harry as close as possible.

 

"Did you enjoy your date?” Louis asks half asleep.

"It wasn’t a date” Harry murmurs, and he turns to his other side, so now he is face to face with Louis. "You go to a date, because you want something from the other. I don’t want anything from her, Lou. Only from you.” In response, Louis buries his face into Harry’s shoulder, and a huge grin spread across his face. That was the answer he craved for. He knows it’s stupid, but he was, and he _is_ jealous, he can’t help himself. But this sentence made all the doubt go away for now.

 

Tic-tac, tic-tac, tic-tac. It’s four in the morning, and they’ll have to get up early tomorrow, but it doesn't matter, because Louis fell asleep in Harry’s arm.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked it. Comments and kudos are welcomed and appreciated.  
> Other than that: [tumblr, tumblr, tumblr.](http://cant-contain-this-anymore.tumblr.com/)
> 
> And more importantly, you're beautiful, and have a nice day. :)


End file.
